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Friday, November 7, 2008

Hooked On Cruising (And I Like It!)

Oh My God! Its official. Well, at least its unofficially official. I have a disorder. Im a junkie. Its called Caribbean Obsession Disorder (COD) auto donation its described as

an uncharacteristically and sometimes irresponsibly compelling drive to seek out sensory indulgence identified with the Caribbean culture - including music, scenery, fashion, food and habitat. Often accompanied by alcohol and other substance use, social and/or career lethargy, disregard for authority and rebellious (antisocial) behaviors against provincial standards and ideals.

Theres more explanation for this disorder, but I think you get the picture.

I suppose its not surprising that someone actually has a name for this state of mind, after all our culture is obsessed with pigeon-holing EVERYTHING. But it is ironic that it is considered a disorder. Why couldnt it be called Caribbean Delight Affinity, or Stress Management Through Caribbean Meditations? Ah well, whatever you call it, I have it. I display all the symptoms, most notably the rebellious (antisocial) behaviors against provincial standards and ideals.

I think about the Caribbean constantly, I design my life around getting my next fix, and I experience serious mood swings and irritation if I am deprived from breathing that magnificent air for more than a month or two. My heroes are Earnest Hemingway and Jimmy Buffet.

I spend so much time cruising in the Caribbean that some of my friends are starting to have conversations about me that include phrases like running away from reality and just wont grow up, and cant seem to hold down a real job. About the only people I know that dont see anything weird about being addicted to spending beautiful luxurious days plowing the blue waters of the Caribbean are teenagers, romance novelists and a couple of aging explorers I met in Nassau who were pirates born 200 years too late.

Oh sure, lots of people LIKE the idea of cruising the Caribbean. Whats not to like? But, most grown-ups relegate it to a tiny slice of life, something that one does only when the important stuff is under control. A tiny little carrot that dangles tantalizingly from the sticks of careers and mortgages and responsibilities. Perish the thought that cruising itself could be important, or that it could make people more productive, or better parents or better members of society. Thats just not realistic! Well, I beg to differ.

You know, it wasnt that long ago that responsible adults shook their heads in dismay at the number of kids wasting their time skateboarding on those plywood half-pikes that cropped up all over the place. Of course, that was pre-1995, before the massive financial windfall of the X-Games, where today, those very same kids command million-dollar endorsement fees and light up ESPN with their extraordinary aerial acrobatics.

In 1990, Kimberly and John Puckett took a backpacking vacation into the Alaskan wilderness and while drinking in the sensational view from atop Sable Mountain they conceived of the idea of creating a specialty coffee house patterned after ski lodges and Alaskan cabins. That Aha! moment, which was made possible because they indulged their fascination of wild and woolly nature, has grown into Caribou Coffee, the 2nd largest coffee chain in the US (Starbucks is first).

Reaching back in history a bit, we can remember the story of a young cartoonist who envisioned a world where cartoon characters could be brought to life in a fantasy environment of sheer child-hood delight. Walt Disneys efforts to build Disneyland were ridiculed and criticized for years, even to the degree that his immediate family worried that he might have lost his grip on reality.

Well, seems to me that we could use a bit more of that flight from reality. And it also seems to me that gazing blissfully at a priceless Caribbean sunset is a fantastic vehicle in which to take that flight. What if the best way get in touch with the real meat of life is to remove oneself from the travails and pressure of that life. What if the perfect incubator for creating solutions and ideas to address vexing problems was the deck of a cruise ship, or a sandy white beach? I think we are missing the boat with regards to cruising in the Caribbean. Rather than dismissing it as an anti-social disorder, we should celebrate it as an essential activity that spawns true genius.

And in that vein, fellow adventurers, I proudly don the label of COD, and pledge myself to discovering and reporting back to the imprisoned masses, the magic of Caribbean waters, and sunsets and all that other wonderfully indulgent stuff. And more that that, I invite you to cast of the dispersions and judgments of those timid souls who measure the quality of their lives in terms of how big their car payment is or the square footage of their houses or how predictable their lives have become.

Yeah, its not always easy. Family and friends will wonder about your crisis of identity, employers will fret over your laid-back demeanor and credit card companies will scratch their heads in bewilderment that you refuse to be shackled by the gods of debt and credit ratings. It wont be easy, at least to start. But heres what youll get in exchange:

Delightful moments, sometimes whole days of delightful moments, where the only stress is making sure the SPF of your sunscreen allows you to get a great tan.

Beautiful blue water, majestic seas, lazy skies, and visual experiences that bury themselves deep in your soul rather than smog, pollution, stress, traffic, alarm clocks, beepers, ringing telephones, blinking computers, packed schedules, mindless news about the latest self-destructive celebrity and obscene political commercials 24-7.

Somebody else waits on you hand and foot (for a change).

A menu of adventures and experiences that you wont have, or wont have time for, in your current life. Things like diving, horseback riding, swimming with sting rays or dolphins, four-wheel drive explorations of rain forests and ancient ruins, parasailing.

Youll meet people that dont want anything from you other than to make your acquaintance and maybe share a Corona.

Romance, intimacy and sex. Of course, it helps if you take someone along thats already comfortable getting naked with you, but some great love stories have written their opening chapter against the enchanted backdrop of Caribbean sunsets. (Its also been reported that a Caribbean cruise is 97% more effective than prescription drugs for erectile oh, maybe thats too much information for some. But, the side effects are all good.)

Youll see things, and learn things, that will never get on your radar screen while slaving away in the Monday - thru Friday world of car pools, office politics and soccer practice.

Youll discover a new meaning for alone time. Its the kind of time that sits outside the pace of life, that defies logic, that lets you get in touch with the piece of yourself that lies slumbering inside you. Youll have thoughts that surprise and delight you, and youll tickle your fantasies in ways that you havent tickled them since you were a kid.

Now, I ask you. How could ANY of that be a bad thing? C,mon, its time to trade in some of those other disorders youve got for one that really rocks! Get COD!

Happy Cruising!

Fred Tutwiler is a best-selling author, consultant and speaker whose current passion is to explore the vast, beautiful domains of the Caribbean aboard huge cruise liners. He has written 7 books on cruising and is working on a video documentary. Download Fred's FREE e-book "The Best Darn Cruising Tips EVER!" at www.dothecaribbean.comwww.dothecaribbean.com

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Friday, November 7, 2008

Hooked On Cruising (And I Like It!)

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